**YIKES it’s been a long time since my last post! Sorry about that. I had a bout of homesickness at the end of the year and was feeling uninspired. But that was cured by a Christmas spent in the snow, so now I’m back and ready to get going again!**
Anyone who’s ever visited Brazil has likely noticed the incredible number of couples who always seem to be hanging around, holding hands, and kissing. Brazilian couples are major contributors to the “PDA” phenomenon (Public Displays of Affection), and walking around here I often find myself wondering, “My God, is ANYBODY single in this country?” (Turns out that plenty of men and women are single, if you’re wondering, but they just don’t attract as much attention as the butt-grabbing couples who are oblivious to everything outside their canoodling).
Even so, I wanted to look into this because most of the young people I’ve met here are in relationships. And it’s not just me, my boyfriend also noticed that ALL of the Brazilian guys he’s met here have girlfriends. Through my research (okay, my observations) I’ve discovered that, in fact, young Brazilian men (let’s say ages 15-30) are much more eager to get and maintain girlfriends than their American counterparts are. But, WHY?
I know what you’re thinking: Brazilian women already have it all, AND they’re surrounded by guys who WANT girlfriends?I know. Unsurprisingly, Brazilian women are behind this. They know what they’re doing when it comes to men, and they’re not afraid to take advantage of tactics that are both psychological and cultural.
Psychologically speaking, the easiest way to get all those young guys eager for a relationship is to make sure it’s the only way they’ll get anything else. That’s right — the Brazilian philosophy is a modernized version of exactly what your grandmother always warned you about: “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” This attitude makes it difficult for Brazilian men to find many girls who are willing to take their pants off for a one-night-stand. In general, I’m no advocate of “playing games” with men, but it’s hard to argue with what I see here. What it boils down to is pretty simple — Brazilian ladies rarely “put out,” which means that guys here are more willing to work for their reward.
Here’s an example to illustrate my point:
Girl and Boy flirt and dance at a bar. Boy buys Girl several drinks. Girl rewards Boy by paying lots of attention to him.
Boy: “You are hot. I would like to sleep with you.”
Girl: “Oh, I know you do, but no.”
Boy: “Want to be my girlfriend?”
Girl: “Okay. Now you can make out with me.”
Since having a girlfriend essentially means you’re getting laid when you otherwise wouldn’t be, it becomes “cool” for guys to be in a relationship. Obviously this is different from certain American standards where it’s considered “cool” for guys to play the field without committing to any one person. In Brazil, where women keep their best assets (boobs and butt and hair!) out in the open but their legs shut tight, becoming a “player” isn’t possible.
Those clever Brazilian ladies also have another ally in the Finding-A-Boyfriend Department, which I’ll call “The Cultural Norm.” Brazilian families are, culturally, way more conservative than many American families. For instance, even if you’ve been dating for years, parents are unlikely to let you sleep in the same room as your significant other until you’re married, or at least engaged. Since young people here usually live at home until they get married, Brazilian parents have a lot more say over the love-lives of their children than Americans do. What this means is that if a guy wants ANY chance of being with you, he’d better be pretty eager to please Mom and Dad too. What better way to do that than by dating you exclusively, treating you well, and sharing his love for you with the world? That said, keep it PG in public. Nobody wants to see a 17-year-old groping his girlfriend… Ahem.
Short and Sweet Recap:
Brazilians like to date and they like the world to know they’re dating. Since Brazilian women save themselves for committed relationships, Brazilian men are that much more interested in having girlfriends. By getting your family involved, you also weed out the jerks who aren’t willing to make the effort. Take it from the experts — the good ones are all worth the wait, and aren’t you worth it, too?