Tip #19: Flirt and Tease, but Close Your Knees

**YIKES it’s been a long time since my last post! Sorry about that. I had a bout of homesickness at the end of the year and was feeling uninspired. But that was cured by a Christmas spent in the snow, so now I’m back and ready to get going again!**

Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen at the beach - Image via http://www.sportsgrid.com/

Anyone who’s ever visited Brazil has likely noticed the incredible number of couples who always seem to be hanging around, holding hands, and kissing. Brazilian couples are major contributors to the “PDA” phenomenon (Public Displays of Affection), and walking around here I often find myself wondering, “My God, is ANYBODY single in this country?” (Turns out that plenty of men and women are single, if you’re wondering, but they just don’t attract as much attention as the butt-grabbing couples who are oblivious to everything outside their canoodling).

Even so, I wanted to look into this because most of the young people I’ve met here are in relationships. And it’s not just me, my boyfriend also noticed that ALL of the Brazilian guys he’s met here have girlfriends. Through my research (okay, my observations) I’ve discovered that, in fact, young Brazilian men (let’s say ages 15-30) are much more eager to get and maintain girlfriends than their American counterparts are. But, WHY?

I know what you’re thinking: Brazilian women already have it all, AND they’re surrounded by guys who WANT girlfriends?I know. Unsurprisingly, Brazilian women are behind this. They know what they’re doing when it comes to men, and they’re not afraid to take advantage of tactics that are both psychological and cultural.

Shakira and boyfriend Gerard Pique - Image via http://ibnlive.in.com/photogallery/3823.html

Psychologically speaking, the easiest way to get all those young guys eager for a relationship is to make sure it’s the only way they’ll get anything else. That’s right — the Brazilian philosophy is a modernized version of exactly what your grandmother always warned you about: “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” This attitude makes it difficult for Brazilian men to find many girls who are willing to take their pants off for a one-night-stand. In general, I’m no advocate of “playing games” with men, but it’s hard to argue with what I see here. What it boils down to is pretty simple — Brazilian ladies rarely “put out,” which means that guys here are more willing to work for their reward.

Here’s an example to illustrate my point:

Girl and Boy flirt and dance at a bar. Boy buys Girl several drinks. Girl rewards Boy by paying lots of attention to him.

Boy: “You are hot. I would like to sleep with you.”

Girl: “Oh, I know you do, but no.”

Boy: “Want to be my girlfriend?”

Girl: “Okay. Now you can make out with me.”

Since having a girlfriend essentially means you’re getting laid when you otherwise wouldn’t be, it becomes “cool” for guys to be in a relationship. Obviously this is different from certain American standards where it’s considered “cool” for guys to play the field without committing to any one person. In Brazil, where women keep their best assets (boobs and butt and hair!) out in the open but their legs shut tight, becoming a “player” isn’t possible.

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber in Hawaii - Image via http://latestcelebritygossips.com/

Those clever Brazilian ladies also have another ally in the Finding-A-Boyfriend Department, which I’ll call “The Cultural Norm.” Brazilian families are, culturally, way more conservative than many American families. For instance, even if you’ve been dating for years, parents are unlikely to let you sleep in the same room as your significant other until you’re married, or at least engaged. Since young people here usually live at home until they get married, Brazilian parents have a lot more say over the love-lives of their children than Americans do. What this means is that if a guy wants ANY chance of being with you, he’d better be pretty eager to please Mom and Dad too. What better way to do that than by dating you exclusively, treating you well, and sharing his love for you with the world? That said, keep it PG in public.  Nobody wants to see a 17-year-old groping his girlfriend… Ahem.

Short and Sweet Recap:

Brazilians like to date and they like the world to know they’re dating. Since Brazilian women save themselves for committed relationships, Brazilian men are that much more interested in having girlfriends. By getting your family involved, you also weed out the jerks who aren’t willing to make the effort. Take it from the experts — the good ones are all worth the wait, and aren’t you worth it, too?

Straight from the Experts #4: Interview with Randa

Randa -- Looking beautiful!

First of all, my friend Randa just celebrated her 24th birthday yesterday — Happy birthday Randa! We’ve known each other since the first grade and Randa has always had a cool, calm, and collected type of attitude towards life. Randa’s gorgeous exotic look comes from a combination of her Lebanese background, Brazilian style, and fantastically fun personality. Read below to learn more about this amazing girl — she’s got lots of great tips for styling, make-up, and much more!

1- Tell us a little about yourself, where you’re from and what you do.

I was born in Rio de Janeiro but moved to Campinas when I was only 5 years old (hence the absence of my “carioca” accent) and began studying at Escola Americana de Campinas, where I met Nashy and Nic! After graduating from high school I decided to stay in Brazil to study architecture. I am recently back in Brazil after having spent the last year studying abroad at the University of Seville in Seville, Spain. I am currently an intern at an architecture firm and will be graduating in December of next year!

2- Tell us about what you like to eat and how you stay fit.

This is where things get tricky, because I love to eat just about anything! In school I was used to being able to eat whatever I wanted because I practiced sports for about 3 hours everyday. After I began college, the amount of time I had to exercise was reduced to about 2 hours a week or even none at all when we had a bunch of deadlines. After gaining some weight, I realized I would have to start being more careful about what I ate. Since everyone at home eats really healthy (salad is a daily part of lunch and dinner), I knew I had to watch my eating habits while I was out (which I must admit is kind of hard)! So when I do go out, I opt for Japanese cuisine (love it!) or some other place where I can have a healthy meal. I usually try to have a hearty lunch and a light dinner, especially now that I work in the mornings and study until 9/10pm and have no time to go to the gym. I am currently trying to lose weight, so I’ve also downsized my meals (small portions more times a day!) What everyone tells me is that it is important to change your eating habits and not to go on crazy diets for short periods of time (because with crazy diets eventually you gain back the weight). That is basically the key to a fit body: eating healthy. However, if you want to have everything in place like those gorgeous brazilian models, exercise will be necessary so try to find some time! (mental note!)…

From left: Me, Randa, Mari, and Flavia at Randa's birthday churrasco!

3- What do you think makes Brazilian women so interesting, sexy, and alluring?

Brazilians are exotic by nature because they are a mix of tons of different cultures, which I find extremely interesting. But it is really important for Brazilian women to dedicate a reasonable portion of their time to taking care of themselves. Whether it’s going to the gym, a beauty salon, or shopping, they do it because they like to feel good about the way they look. This gives them self-confidence, which I think is a huge part of a Brazilian woman’s attitude. 

4- What is your favorite part about being a Brazilian woman?

In most places I’ve been to, as soon as I blurted out the word “Brazilian” the response was “samba, soccer, beach, party” followed by cheers or even attempts at a Brazilian song! Brazilians are well-liked around the world because people say that we are always happy, caring, and really know how to enjoy life. So when I was spending a year abroad, away from my friends, family and country, it felt really good to have people be excited once they figured I was Brazilian. Despite all the problems we have in Brazil (and which country doesn’t have problems?), Brazilians are extremely proud of their country.

5- What do you like to do on the weekends?

I love going out to clubs with my friends, having get-togethers, going to the movies, having a real Brazilian barbecue (called a “churrasco”), going down to the beach, or just hitting up a traditional barzinho.

Randa brought her own style to Europe!

6- What is your style of fashion? Your favorite designers and brands?

I like to look good whether I’m going to work, college, or wherever, but the important thing is to understand the difference between dressing for each situation. For work it also depends on what industry you work in. Since I work with architecture and design, I can get away with more than just traditional work attire, but my key item for work is a blazer (because of the strong air conditioning and because it makes you look really put-together!). It looks great with jeans, skirts, formal pants, dresses and you can wear a more fitted one or even the boyfriend one, which is a longer and sometimes more loosely fitted variation. To go out, I love skinny jeans with different types of tops (lace is really in fashion now, sometimes a little sparkle) and heels. I am also crazy about shoes and bags, so sometimes I’ll build my whole outfit around them. My favorite brands are Animale, Farm, Le Lis Blanc, Richards, Carlos Miele, Zara, and Mango (love their jeans). I also love to buy clothes at small boutiques that aren’t really famous but have amazing clothes. As for shoes, my favorite brand is Arezzo(if you don’t know it, check it out!)

Randa (left) with a friend... Check out that lipstick!

7- What are your favorite beauty and make-up products?

I love testing out different brands until I find my favorites! When it comes to hair products, I can’t live without concentrated silicone. I always experiment with different brands, but lately I have been using a Brazilian brand called Niely which is really good and cheap. I buy the version that has protection against UV rays. Brazilian women have really shiny hair, and this helps a lot! As for make-up, I am addicted to M.A.C.’s sheer pressed powder, just a little and you have a flawless face. Then just a little bronzer — I use M.A.C.’s Refined Golden or Chanel’s Soleil Doré (#10). Mascara is a must for me, doesn’t matter where you are going — it always gives you a better appearance. My favorite mascara is Bourjois in Ultra Black. I don’t wear foundation or concealer every day, but when I do use it (to go out or when I feel I really need it), I use M.A.C.’s Pro Longwear Foundation with SPF 10 and M.A.C. concealer. I never really wore a lot of lipstick until I went to Spain, but now I’m addicted and haven’t stopped ever since! My favorites are (all by MAC) Pink Plaid, Snob, and Vegas Volt. The first two are similar shades of pink that can be worn either during the day or at night, and the last is a brighter pink/orange that I only wear to go out at night (and I am careful of what I wear it with).

Randa and friends learned to do their own nails -- Saves money and looks great!

Two other things that are extremely important to Brazilian woman (including me!) are perfume and nail polish! I don’t leave the house without perfume, and I usually divide them into day scents, which are usually more fresh, and night scents, which are a little stronger. As for nail polish, Brazilian women also have perfect manicures. When I lived abroad it was extremely expensive to get a manicure, so I had to learn how to do my own nails… Meaning I saved some money but now also have a whole drawer only for nail polish! I love to try different colors, textures, etc… and nail polish is very cheap here! Two of the best brands are Impala and Colorama.

8- Who are your role models and inspirations?

I think every girl wants to be more like Gisele Bundchen, Alessandra Ambrosio and Adriana Lima, but you can get inspired just by walking down the street. You’ll get new ideas just by seeing what other girls are up to. Brazilian women are really creative about how they put their looks together and there are thousands of Brazilian fashionista blogs out there that share their looks and creative processes online! 

9- What do you see as absolutely essential in trying to become like Brazilian women?

It is really important to feel good about yourself. If you haven’t reached that stage than take action to get there. Be natural and dress to your style, but always take care of your appearance. 

Randa (center) and friends -- Check out all that long and shiny hair!

10- Any other tips or helpful hints for the readers?

If you haven’t had the opportunity to come to Brazil then try to learn more about Brazilian culture (this blog is a great place!). Brazil seems to be really in the scene now — it’s got a rather stable economy, the World Cup in 2014, the Olympics in 2016, and lots of top fashion designers and models being recognized all over the world.

Tip #18: Clean and Polished Nails

Great colors from Ginger + Liz - Image via http://www.gingerandliz.com

As my good friends Maju and Randa state in their interviews, it’s always necessary to have clean and polished nails if you plan on leaving your house at all. Most Brazilian women have standing appointments at a nearby salon to get their nails done every week by the same manicurist. Since appearances are so important to Brazilian women, it’s no surprise that they take such good care of their nails. Your hands are very visible to the outside world and additionally serve as a means of expression when you use them for gesturing and pointing. Besides, if you’re going to wear as many beautiful rings as Brazilian women do, you’d better have pretty fingers to wear them on!

So– How do Brazilians do their nails? For the most part, the same colors and styles that are popular in the United States are also on trend here. Brands in Brazil vary, but Brazilian nail technicians love, and I mean LOVE, polishes by American brands Essie and OPI. I personally prefer Essie, which comes out with awesome new collections for every season. Another cool American brand is Ginger + Liz, which my friend Liz (not the Liz from the brand) turned me on to — they have great colors, a great product, and great polish names (not to mention, they’re non-toxic)! Brazilian women love color (nothing boring!) and that love carries over into bright pinks, reds, and corals (especially during the summer months). The mint green color that was popular in the United States (think Essie’s Mint Candy Apple shade) is also still a huge hit here, as well as some brighter turquoises, blues and greens. What you’ll never eversee here are nails studded with rhinestones or painted little flower petals or anything like that. Brazilians like a good, simple, solid color. And, of course, Brazilian women can’t live without the eternally-classy French manicure (clear or pale pink coat with white tips). My grandmother, who is one of the most put-together and elegant women I know, always has a perfect French manicure — and she’s not even Brazilian!

"Mint Candy Apple" by Essie - Image via http://www.essie.com/nail-colors/

In terms of style and shape, Brazilian women rarely have extremely long nails. A short to medium length is appropriate, and whether you keep your nails rounded or square is up to you — I’ve seen both shapes represented well here. The only major difference between American and Brazilian manicures is the treatment of the cuticle. In the United States, most women prefer to simply have the cuticle pushed back and not cut at all. Brazilians, however, find any visible cuticle to look sloppy and unpolished, so if you get your nails done here you can expect to have those babies cut right off! I used to be against it, but truth be told, the whole manicure does look a LOT better and cleaner once the cuticle is removed. Yes, cutting your cuticles might make them grow back thicker (same reason you should wax, not shave), but if you keep up with regular maintenance of your nails the way Brazilian women do, it’s not a problem.

Luckily for Brazilian women, it is pretty inexpensive to get your nails done in Brazil (even in São Paulo!). Unfortunately for women in the United States or Europe, nail salons are getting more and more expensive. Another Brazilian friend, Randa, told me that she actually learned how to do her own manicures while she was abroad in Seville, Spain, for a year because it was too expensive but she had to have her nails looking good! So what can you do if you’re on a budget? There are definitely some ways to keep your nails looking nice and healthy without breaking the bank. Here are some ideas:

-Grab a group of girlfriends and practice your manicure moves until you’re pretty decent, and then do it for each other!

-Try getting a manicure only once every two or three weeks and doing a simple polish change (less expensive!) in between, instead of doing the whole manicure every week.

-Find a salon with a preferred customer or “frequent flyer” type program where you can earn discounts.

-Try a product like Nail Love’s Nail & Cuticle Care Pen that will tame your cuticles and keep your fingertips in tip-top shape. I tried this on a whim and fell absolutely in love with it. It’s great for a quick fix when your nails are dry and your cuticles are out of control and you’ve been picking at them and they look all awful. Your nails look healthier and cleaner immediately after use!

French Manicure and Pedicure - Image via http://tlc.howstuffworks.com/style/french-manicure.htm

If you’re like me, though, you’ve got bigger problems than trying to save money on pretty fingernails. I’m talking to all you nail biters/cuticle pickers out there… You know who you are, and you know you have to stop if you’re trying to discover and release your inner Brazilian woman. I’ve been a chronic nail biter for as long as I can remember, and it’s a really tough habit to quit. Since moving to São Paulo, I’ve been able to grow my nails REALLY long (like long enough to drum on the tabletop and make that cool sound) twice, only to then have a stressful day where I pick and chew them all back down to the bone. I’m on an upswing now, though, and I’m hopeful that maybe, just maybe, this will be the last time. For me, what’s worked the best has been consistently getting my nails done every week. Forget the bad-tasting polish, because if you’re a true nail-biter like me, you know that it doesn’t work. What does work is having consistent manicures and polish changes so that your nails always look pretty and you don’t want to bite them or pick at them, even when you get the urge. If you’ve been biting long enough, you’re probably embarrassed to go get your nails done because the manicurist can be so judgmental about the state of your fingertips, but you’ve gotta do it anyway. Suck it up, go in there, and explain that you’re a biter and you’re trying to quit. They might “tsk tsk” a little bit, but they’re ultimately on your side and will help you stay on track. So go! Now! Just don’t pick the polish all off once it’s on there…

Lastly, don’t forget your toes! Brazil has a generally sunny climate, and just like you’d never leave the house with your nails undone, you’d better not wear sandals unless you’ve had a pedicure!

Short and Sweet Recap:

Brazilian women have their nails polished and clean at all times. Whether you make this happen through a weekly manicure, polish change, or doing it yourself, it’s a must. The color and shape are up to you, so as long as it’s not chipped or bare, you’re all set! And whatever you do… STOP BITING!

Tip #17: Bling-a-Bling-a-Ring

Edgy rings are popular among younger Brazilian women - Image via http://jasiferlionsclub.blogspot.com/2010/04/sweet-edgy.html

Brazilian women own rings for every occasion. Here, you’ll see rings worn in all different styles (edgy, delicate, chunky, gold, silver, studded, girly… you name it!) depending on the woman and the situation. Some women have the same rings they wear every day and others have different rings for each day of the week. Whatever your style, think about adding rings as an accessory if you don’t already wear them.

As a non-ring-wearer, I can tell you that it’s an adjustment to wear rings everyday if you’re not used to them. I own a few that I like, but I have trouble wearing them because they feel foreign on my hands and I end up just fidgeting with them all day long. Actually, that’s another point: if you’re wearing rings, leave them alone on your fingers — Brazilian women never fidget. I, however, do fidget, and so am really struggling with the ring thing. But as I’m determined to become more of a Brazilian woman, I’ve taken some notes on the different styles I’ve seen around here.

So what kinds of rings have I seen Brazilian women wearing? All kinds. The best way to describe the trends here is to divide the women into age groups:

- Women in their 20′s or younger tend to wear more rings and in more variety. A lot of them wear rings on non-traditional fingers, such as their index fingers and thumbs. Since the young Brazilian crowd has an edgy fashion vibe, this makes sense. Brazilians like to mix materials, so you shouldn’t feel like you’re limited to either silver or gold — mixing and matching both, along with some brightly-colored gems and other metals, is a fun way to showcase individual style.

Big and bold rings, like this one from Kate Spade, are Brazilian favorites! Image via http://www.katespade.com/designer-jewelry/designer-rings/lady-marmalade-tapered-ring/WBRU0447,default,pd.html?dwvar_WBRU0447_color=922&start=16&cgid=jewelry-rings

-Women from their late 20′s to about their early 40′s are more reserved in their ring-wearing. I think a lot of this has to do with getting engaged/married and figuring out how to work those everyday rings into their unique looks. As I mentioned earlier, wearing a ring is something you need to get used to, so I imagine that adjusting to wearing an engagement ring and then a wedding band (with all the meaning they carry) is even more difficult (although very exciting!). I see women in this age group tending to wear more basic styles, like stacked delicate bands, to complement their “allianças” (Brazilian word for engagement/wedding rings).

-Older women, from their mid-40′s on, really rock the bigger statement rings. While the younger crowd sports the edgier versions of big rings, older women have taken over the glamour market. I see women from middle-age to real old-age wearing chunky, expensive-looking rings. Think large gems, LOTS of gold, and flawless styling. After a lifetime of obsession with fashion and appearance, older Brazilian women know what works for them and aren’t afraid to go bold. I have a family friend who is 89 years old (and her husband is 99!) and her perpetually chic look is always accented with one or two large gold rings.

Typical style for Brazilian engagement/wedding ring - Image via Wikipedia

Now I know that to most American women, there is one special ring that means more than any other and that many of us look forward to showing off on our left hands “when that day comes.” The diamond engagement ring is a tradition in Brazil as well, but it’s done a little differently here. For one thing, engagement rings are worn on the right ring finger and move over to the left with your wedding band after your married. Secondly, (and any male readers might appreciate this), I’ve seen very few women here with big honkin’ rocks on their hands because Brazilian women prefer smaller and more discreet styles. I do think that this is partially because Brazil is a country with a lot of street crime, so women tend not to wear jewelry that attracts attention. My friend Manoela received an absolutely GORGEOUS small-diamond pavé engagement ring from her fiancé that would be unusual by American standards, but definitely falls within the Brazilian tradition. Styles that are common in the United States (like side-stones, three-stone rings, and HUGE solitary stones) are not even carried in stores here, not even in the shops of international brands like H. Stern that are known for beautiful and interesting designs. That’s not to say that Brazilian women don’t like to be pampered with diamonds, though… It’s quality over quantity here, and rest assured that a teal-blue Tiffany & Co. box would be well-received by any Brazilian woman.

Also, as a side note, I’ve noticed that 99% of married Brazilian men choose to wear their wedding bands and that yellow gold is the traditional material for men’s “allianças.” Take note, Prince William, Brazilian men who are married like to show off their status!

There are SO many ring styles out there and it’s clear that by Brazilian standards you can make almost anything work for you. Even if you’re not usually a ring-wearer, pick out a few different styles and try to wear rings everyday for a week. Focus on not fidgeting and you’ll get used to them soon enough (or so they tell me, anyway…).

Short and Sweet Recap:

Rings provide yet another outlet through which to express your personal style. Figure out what works for you and wear it! If you want to look like a Brazilian, mix and match different styles and wear several rings at once.

 

Straight from the Experts #3: Interview with Maju

Today you get to meet Maju (short for Maria Julia), another friend of mine here in São Paulo. Maju is one of the sweetest and friendliest girls I know, not to mention gorgeous and lots of fun! She has really gone out of her way to teach me a little more about Brazilian culture and make me feel welcome. Our next plan is to have an American Sunday together where I can show her a little American something… Chocolate chip cookies! Check out what she has to say about Brazilian women and what makes them so special:

1- Tell us a little about yourself, where you’re from, and what you do.

I’m 23 years old, and I was born in Ribeirão Preto (inland in the state of São Paulo) but I have lived in the city of São Paulo for 5 years now. I switched cities for college. I’m in my last year of studying Business Administration at the Fundação Getúlio Vargas.

2- Tell us about what you like to eat and how you stay fit.

I eat everything. I love Japanese and Arab cuisines. But I can’t live without a little home-style food: rice, beans, steak, and french fries. To stay in shape I do Pilates twice a week. But I danced classical ballet for 15 years. As soon as I’ve graduated I plan to go back to taking some ballet classes.

3- What do you think makes Brazilian women so interesting, sexy, and alluring?

I think the Brazilian woman is interesting because she is the result of a great mixture of cultures. She possesses in her blood all the benefits of miscegenation. Furthermore, Brazilian women are exotic and that is what makes them so seductive.

4- What is your favorite part about being a Brazilian woman?

I love telling people I’m Brazilian! When I lived in Germany last year as an exchange student, everyone loved finding out that there was a Brazilian at the college. They would ask me to teach them to dance samba and say a few words in Portuguese. I think Brazilian culture captures people’s imaginations, and now that Brazil is “hot,” as one of the BRIC countries, more people are curious about how we live. I also like our diversity in music (funk, samba, sertanejo), places (Lençóis Maranheses, Florianópolis, Manaus, Salvador, Chapada Diamantina), and people (Brazil received many immigrants from Italy, Spain, Germany, Japan, and Sweden, among many other places).

Looking cool as ever, here's Maju with her boyfriend, Tito.

5- What do you like to do on the weekends?

On the weekends I like to go out with my friends, go to bars and every so often find a “balada” (a large-scale party, usually at a club). I love going to the movies and visiting the beaches that are near São Paulo.

6- What is your style of fashion? Your favorite designers and brands?

I love to look really put-together. Everyday before going to sleep I think about what clothes I’ll wear the next day. During the week I can’t stray too far from business attire because of work, but on the weekends, or even during the week if I can, when I go out at night I wear jeans, a cute top, and ballet flats/high heels, depending on the situation. My favorite brands are Le Lis Blanc, Animale, Farm, Costume, and M. Officer. As far as designers, I really like Carlos Miele (I know he has a store in New York), Tufi Duek and Glória Coelho.

7- What are your favorite beauty and make-up products?

During the day I use very basic make-up. As I’m very fair-skinned, I can’t live without concealer, brown mascara, and blush. At night I like to put on some heavier make-up, depending on the occasion. I like MAC products, they’re very high quality and not too expensive.

8- Who are your role models and inspirations?

I’m not very tuned in to the fashion world, but I like what I see from Gisele Bündchen and Alessandra Ambrosio.

9- What do you see as absolutely essential in trying to become like Brazilian women?

To be a real Brazilian woman, you have to be spontaneous and natural. Brazilian women really care about their appearance: it is essential to always have your nails done and always be waxed!

Maju in Berlin while she was an exchange student in Germany.

10- Any other tips or helpful hints for the readers?

Brazilian fashion is growing and becoming recognized all over the world. It’s not necessary to come to Brazil to see what our trends are and what we like. I know that in New York, for example, there are plenty of Brazilian stores and brands (Carlos Miele and Rosa Chá by Amir Slama), and so I would advise you to go and take a look. You won’t regret it!

Tip #16: “Happy birthday! Where’s the party?”

Image via http://www.bergenlimo.com/birthday-limo.html

There’s nothing Brazilian women love more than a good party, and when it’s a birthday party to celebrate a friend, that’s even better! Today is actually my birthday (23!) and so I thought this would be an appropriate day to publish this tip.* Since finding out my birthday was coming, the most common question Brazilians have been asking me is, “WHERE’S the party?” Unfortunately, being new and all, I haven’t really gotten around to planning anything special beyond a sushi dinner with my boyfriend… and the Brazilians are appalled! Looks like I have until this weekend to figure something out, so if anybody has any ideas, let me know!

But let’s get back to how Brazilians, the real ones, celebrate their birthdays. Birthday greetings are a big deal here, meaning a simple “Happy birthday, Nicole!” won’t cut it like it does in the United States. Brazilians will use your birthday as an opportunity not just to celebrate you but also to wish you a lot of happiness, love, and all kinds of other good things. This morning our housekeeper greeted me with a “Happy birthday!” and a hug and then she spent the next 5 minutes telling me that she hopes “all of my dreams come true” and that I “enjoy my life to the fullest” because these are “the very best years” and she’s “just so happy for me!” It was very, very sweet, and made me really think about how genuine and kind most Brazilians are and how they truly wish you the best whenever they can.

You're having a party whether you like it or not! - Image via http://www.imaginosity.ie/imaginosity/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=63&Itemid=79

When it comes down to the actual parties, these (with the exception of my nonexistent one, of course) are generally planned in advance and REALLY go all the way, even if they keep the guest-list intimate. I attended a small birthday party (which I’ve already mentioned in my last post, due to the great clothes I saw on women there) for my friend Rafa that was hosted at his family’s apartment. His sister, Beatriz, put together a really great night! As always, most of the Brazilians showed up late, but they had plenty to enjoy once they arrived. There were incredible hors d’oeuvres (gourmet crackers, dips, salami, cheeses, savory pastries, etc.) that were beautifully arranged on a table and also served on trays by roving waiters; you could order a drink from a special caipirinha bar set up in a corner with professional bartenders mixing in your choice of colorful fresh fruit and alcohol; and later on the waiters brought around individual bowls of risotto and pasta to each of the guests. Considering the music, the food and drink, the lively atmosphere, and the Brazilian chic-ness of it all, it was a GREAT little party.

Lots of Brazilians also pick interesting venues for birthday celebrations. My friend Natasha, who celebrated her 23rd birthday while visiting home in Brazil (she currently lives in London), planned a weekend party at her family’s farm. Think wide open spaces, a pool, comfortable lounging, and lots of food! The location is BEAUTIFUL and many of us have been visiting there since we were little kids. Nashy invited several friends and we all trooped out there to spend two days lounging in the sun. Activities included swimming, soccer, VERY competitive volleyball, horse-back riding, plenty of eating, LOTS of caipirinhas, and at night: charades, guitars, and stargazing. It was the perfect relaxed way to celebrate with friends and catch up with people she hadn’t seen in a while.

Circus-themed dessert table at Bernardo's party! Incredible!

More often than not, though, Brazilians like to go big and invite everyone they know. Even children’s birthday parties are a BIG deal. I recently celebrated the first birthday of my friend Lu’s little son, Bernardo. The guest-list consisted mostly of adults, although everyone who had children or nieces or nephews brought them along for the fun. The party was circus-themed and it done to the extreme! For invitations, Lu sent out little popcorn boxes (whose sides contained the date, address, and other party info) filled with candy and a big circus lollipop. The party itself was held at her sister-in-law’s house and the decorations were amazing! From the balloon-clown to the food “circus vendor” stations that offered mini versions of all our favorite circus treats (hot dogs, burgers, pizzas, popcorn, and chocolate or cheese crêpes-on-a-stick), the place looked, smelled, and tasted incredible. While the décor was geared towards the children, the adults were plenty satisfied by the gourmet caipirinha bar and all the tasty snacks.I even got to show off my balloon-animal skills!

One Brazilian party tradition that NEEDS to be mentioned is the dessert table. Brazilians LOVE little sweets, especially brigadeiros (little rolled fudge balls), beijinhos (little rolled coconut balls), and all their variations. At every birthday party, whether you’re celebrating someone young or old, there will be a central, heavily-decorated table just COVERED in tons and tons of these festive little sweets. General etiquette is that it’s okay to start eating them after the cake has been cut, so get ready to attack the table as soon as you hear people starting to sing. Back when my family lived in Brazil full-time, my parents threw really amazing birthday parties for us kids. One of the most memorable was the year my youngest brother asked for a cake in the shape of a train. My mom baked several cakes, cut one into an engine and the others into train cars and snaked the cake-train along the dessert table. Each train car was stuffed with candy, cookies, and sweets — it was truly incredible, and very, veryBrazilian.

Brigadeiros, YUM - Image via http://www.brigadeirobakery.com/2010/04/brigadeiro-historic-treat.html

Short and Sweet Recap:

Birthdays in Brazil are a big deal because they’re all about making someone feel really special on their big day. Parties are festive, extravagant, and very social — everything Brazilians love! Celebrate like a Brazilian by planning your own fun event and by reminding your friends on their birthdays that you love them, you wish them a happy birthday, and you hope their lives will be filled with happiness. Most importantly, get crackin’ on those desserts — they’re SO worth the effort!

*Fun fact I learned: October 5th (today) is the most common birthday in the USA! I saw on the news once that it was the most common birthday in the world, but I haven’t found any data to confirm that. Any guesses as to why October 5th? Turns out a LOT of babies (American ones, at least) are conceived on New Year’s Eve!

Tip #15: No Boring Clothes!

Like Brazilians, Katy Perry loves leopard-print! Image via http://celebrity-event.com/katy-perry-leopard-print-top-photo-shoot.html

A major reason Brazilian women always look so interesting is because their clothes are interesting! Brazilian women NEVER wear boring or plain clothes, because those make it more difficult to express their individual styles. This is not to say that basics aren’t popular here — they absolutely are! But they must must MUST always be paired with at least one, but preferably two or three, statement pieces. These statement pieces can and should include accessories. Have fun playing with different fabrics! All Brazilian women own a plethora of printed, patterned, and textured tops. These tend to be lightweight and breezy, perfect for a sunny climate.

Even working women who cannot stray too far from business attire find a way to incorporate a little fun and personal flair into their everyday outfits. Since Brazil’s weather is generally quite warm, women here can get away with a little more skin than is acceptable in most American professional offices. The tropical environment allows for bolder colors and bolder accessorizing, even in the office. A Brazilian business woman might wear, for instance, sleek trousers in a neutral color with a bright silk sleeveless top (NO cleavage!), embellished heels and a statement necklace. The idea is to go as bold as possible without being too over-the-top.

Alice + Olivia embellished skirt (from ShopBop) - Image via http://www.shopbop.com/petra-ruffle-skirt-sequins-alice/vp/v=1/845524441913056.htm?fm=search-viewall-shopbysize

I recently attended a low-key birthday party for a friend in his apartment. I say “low-key” because it was hosted in a home and not at a bar and the event was small, only about 30 or so people were there. My first thought was to wear jeans with heels and a dressy black top, but since the party was at night and since I’ve seen how much Brazilian women like to dress up, I opted for a purple silk Betsey Johnson dress and studded nude heels. After seeing how everyone else was dressed, I was so glad I didn’t wear jeans! Almost every woman there was wearing either a dress or a tight mini-skirt with a flowy top. (On the subject of statement pieces, I’ve noticed that sparkly and embellished miniskirts are SUPER popular in São Paulo — if you’ve got the legs to pull them off, DO IT). At the party, the one whose outfit stood out the most (in a GOOD way) was a woman I met named Carol. She was wearing REALLY high black heels, bright-red rolled capri pants, a black blazer, and as a statement piece, a fitted leopard-print tee. She looked AMAZING and adding to her cool factor was her long and straight ombré hair (dark on top fading to blonde at the ends).

In terms of brands, Brazilian women are REALLY loyal to Brazilian brands for clothing and like to buy international name-brand accessories. Check out my interviews (located under “Interviews” in the “Pick Your Poison” sidebar) to see which brands Brazilian women love! From my observations, a lot of women in their twenties love chunky and slightly-edgy jewelry because they make perfect statement pieces. You can find these styles at Madewell (which isn’t well-known here, but has a VERY similar look to what Brazilians are wearing) or you can check out ShopBop, where there are lots of girly-edgy options.

Great pattern! Joie Newbury Blouse (from Shop Bop) - Image via http://www.shopbop.com/newbury-blouse-joie/vp/v=1/845524441917864.htm? folderID=2534374302060562&fm=other-shopbysize-viewall&colorId=13655

What’s most impressive is that even though certain styles are popular, Brazilian women never look the same. I had dinner last week with two sisters, Bia and Lu, who were both dressed to kill but looked totally different. Bia’s non-boring choice was a silk printed shift dress with heels, and Lu wore black leather pants (I’m telling you, Brazilians’ clothes are NEVER boring!) with a silk tank-top and really cool jewelry. They looked equally amazing while still adhering to their personal styles.

Anyone can pull off the “beautiful, put-together, and unique” look by following a few simple guidelines:

1- Make sure your clothes fit well! Buy the right size for your body, the numbers don’t matter as long as it looks good. Avoid trends that don’t flatter your shape.

2- Stock up on easy basics that go with everything, but stock up EVEN MORE on fun, unique, and bold pieces that you really love and that really scream YOU.

3- WEAR your fun clothes! I know so many people (myself included) who buy really cool and different things but then are too self-conscious to wear them at all.

4- ACCESSORIZE. Always.

Short and Sweet Recap:

Brazilian women hate boring clothes but LOVE to look unique by adding fun prints, different fabrics, edgy jewelry, and pops of color to their outfits. Find ways to incorporate a little flair to your everyday clothes. Even a simple “small statement” piece will go a long way in defining your individual look!